Because I am my Lord’s beloved child, I have the strength to say truthfully what I least want to admit about myself, and that is:
- that I am a hypocrite.
- that I play the victim constantly.
- that I complain always.
- that I am bitter toward God.
- that I do not trust God.
Why is it so hard to face myself? I imagine that I’m being honest, only to realize that I’m hiding a large corner of my heart from my own eyes. Foolishly I imagine that I’m hiding it from Yours as well. But, of course, You see everything. You know everything about me. “You perceive my thoughts from afar . . . . Before a word is only my tongue you know it completely” (Ps. 139:2,4). Right now, Lord, I’m ready to look at whatever truth You want to reveal to me. I know that when I choose to lie to myself, I deny You the chance to heal me and help me. Thank You that You only want to help! Thank You that whatever painful reality I must face, You will face it with me. You understand. You care. You’re here.
~ from The Dieter’s Prayer Book ~