I read a lot of blogs. I mean, a lot. I think the total hovers around 95. And by “think,” I mean “know.” I just checked my Google Reader.
Many of them are “homemaking” style blogs, or mommy blogs. Man, I eat those things up!
At the same time, sometimes I hate reading them. Reading all the things these women are doing with their lives, the things I long for, makes me discontent with where I am now. I don’t want to read about how excited they are about autumn, because it means time spent wandering through the woods with their kids, or canning everything in sight. I don’t want to hear about how amazing and awe-inspiring it is to feel a child growing within you. I don’t want to see monthly meal planning schedules (also – holy cow, could I ever be that organized?!), complete with reserved date nights.
It’s akin to what I felt every time one more of my friends/family member got engaged, while the Hubs and I were still dating. I was truly happy for them, but didn’t want to hear the news that I was once again being left behind. I didn’t want to watch one more person have that which I longed for. Now, I am married, and I love it; he is my partner, lover and friend. I take for granted what I was so desperate for.
If I’m ever blessed to have what I now look forward to, will I do the same?