Have you ever felt like you’re simply not good enough at anything? I don’t mean that you’re not good enough at one thing in particular, but at anything at all. I have. I do, actually.
I’m overwhelmed with the feeling that everything I attempt is simply mediocre. I’m a good cook, but not a great chef. I’m a good draftsman, but not good enough to be an effective project coordinator. I like photography, but my grasp of the basics is pitiful, and my work is imitative, at best. I’m a less than mediocre housekeeper. I’m a needy, self-centered wife. I think I’d make a good mom, but can’t even manage to get healthy enough to find out.
I just feel. . .unimportant. As if all I do is get in the way of those who are/could be doing “it” better.
Ugh, I don’t even feel like finishing this post, nor do I have time to. I have to get back to my terribly uncoordinated, unfinished project.
All I want to do is quit. To go home, curl up in a ball, cry for three hours and then go to sleep. When I wake up, I want to start over on everything. I want a new job, preferably one that’s close to home and part-time. I want to be a better wife, lover and friend to Hubs. I want to garden. I want to keep a clean house. I want to have children within a year.
And, more than anything, I want to feel worthwhile. And to not feel guilty about wanting that.