Motivation – ?

So, motivation.  Do I have any?

I mean, really and truly.

There are so many things I’ve called Motivation To Make Change.  But really. . .are any of those strong enough to actually Make Change?

Lately, I’m thinking not.  Considering how long I’ve been writing here, and how little Change has occurred, it doesn’t seem to be an accurate list of Motivating Factors.

So, then.  What really will motivate me?

Last night, Hubs and I had the same conversation we’ve been having for two years (or more).  It goes something like this:

{Other conversation/event leads to me saying:}

M: No, the problem is that I need to exercise.  That will build strength in my {whatever}.

H: Ok, so how do you want to do that?

M: I don’t know.  Go running, maybe?  Join a soccer team?  p90x?

H:  Ok, then do it!  But you hate running, so you probably wouldn’t stick with that one.

M: This is true.

H: Not trying to be discouraging, just thinking you’d stick with something you actually like better.

M: Yeah, you’re probably right.

{topic change}

I’m so tired of saying the same things over and over and over again.  The whole time we have this conversation, in my mind, I’m thinking:  Running wouldn’t work anyway, because I don’t want to run in the fields and get chigger/spider bites.  You don’t want me running on the road, because people are nuts out here.  You also don’t want me going anywhere by myself early in the morning or in the evening after dark, so a gym membership is out.  We live too far away to join a soccer league, and you’d hate me being gone in the evenings anyway.  Not that it matters, since my office hours don’t work well with after-anything.  So that leaves DVDs.  And our house literally shakes when I do them (we don’t have a foundation – it’s just on posts).

Ugh.  I hate this pattern, and I can’t see a way out of it.  Anyone have any ideas?  What could I do that is safe enough for Hubs not to worry?

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