I feel like an idiot

Since Sweet Pea was born, I can’t count the number of unsolicited phone calls I’ve received. . . doctors, hospitals, labs, therapists, insurance companies, billing departments. . .on and on it goes. When we changed our health insurance plan, I started getting calls from the “new” company, or so I thought. And I gave them information. Personal medical information. Turns out, they’re a consultant for the insurance company, and are tasked with helping determine our likely cost to them, since the new healthcare laws mean they can’t screen members for much, and nothing medical.

Goodness, gracious, I feel like an idiot.  It’s worse than scammers calling for banking information, and I just gave it to them.  Ugh.  Be forewarned – say you’ll have to call them back, and then look everything up before doing so. Lesson learned.  I hope I’ve not messed anything up for our girl. Our coverage is what it is, so it should be ok, but. . .they can be so difficult to deal with. And I’ve just given them time to research and decide what they want to fight.

I feel like a complete and total idiot.



Ok, so.  What the heck.

I’ve gained 5 lbs. in the past month. I’m right back where I was in what, October?  Also, why oh why am I taking so long to lose this weight!  Months of maintenance are annoying.

Worse even than that, last week was awful.  I’m talking multiple break downs at the office, kind of awful.  Despondency, anger, despair, hopelessness – all were in complete control over me last week.  Just like before.

I hated who I was then.  I worked so hard to get away from that place.  And one month – One Month – and I slipped right back in!

Then, I ran across this blog.  Go ahead, click on over.  It’s good stuff.  You know I love a good list!

So, here’s my Doldrum Attack Plan (already partial completed!):

Item #1:  List Everything I’m Behind On:

  1. Pay bills.
  2. Sort mail.
  3. Deposit checks.
  4. E. Wedding – Bachelorette – plan desserts.
  5. E. Wedding – Bachelorette – find movies.
  6. E. Wedding – Make seating sign.
  7. E. Wedding – Rehearsal Dinner – choose outfit:  black pants/”high-waters” with my fancy new blouse and black rose bud shoes.
  8. E. Wedding – figure out how to tie sandals.
  9. E. Wedding – decide hair style.
  10. Calendar gift – find hooks / make calendar.
  11. E. Engagement gift book – write note.
  12. E. Bachelorette shopping – take SIL.
  13. Groceries – pulled pork family supper.
  14. Hang photos in Living Room.
  15. E. Wedding – wash/sanitize drink tub.
  16. N. Engagement – find planner.
  17. N. Engagement – sample pricing research.
  18. B. Wedding – RSVP.
  19. Update G&M address.
  20. Purge e-mails.
  21. Answer e-mails.
  22. Mail towels/pictures to G&GK.
  23. Call G&GK.
  24. E-mail photog. Re: feathering effect.
  25. Start E. Wedding mixbook – Modern Wedding style.
  26. Camera – charge battery.
  27. Purge library.
  28. Find Google Reader replacement.
  29. Purge blog reading list.
  30. Prepare side house for J.
  31. Wash pups.
  32. House remodel.  (I know, I know – big one!  Can’t exactly be crossed off in a matter of minutes. . . but weighs on my mind)
  33. Research new cameras.
  34. Wash sheets.
  35. Mail registration.
  36. Start vitamin regimen.
  37. UH invoice research
  38. Get organized at work – new project!

Item #2:  The House – Get Under Control!

  1. Clean tub.
  2. Clean bathroom.
  3. Fold laundry.
  4. Sweep/vacuum.
  5. Clean out fridge.
  6. Clean windows.
  7. Clean beside bed.
  8. Set “chores” schedule.

Item #3:  Parenting…um….not applicable.

Item #4:  List Practices That Make Me Feel Healthy (in no particular order. . .)

  1. Date nights.
  2. Exercise
  3. Movie night w/ NC.
  4. Reading new books.
  5. Cooking.
  6. A clean house.
  7. Seeing K family.
  8. Drinking a plethora of water.
  9. Time alone.
  10. Walking in the field with my camera.
  11. Dinners w/ NL.

Food Curfew

This is something I’d enacted once upon a time. . .in the days I thought I was overweight and/or feared becoming so (family history).  At the time, it wasn’t necessary.  Nor was it the smartest thing to do, since I was really active and burning all the calories I consumed.  Also, I tended to get home pretty late, and missed supper a lot because of this policy.

Long story short, I passed out pretty frequently while getting ready in the morning – and I still have the scars to prove it.


Now, not so much.  Now, it’d be a good thing.

So – no eating after 8:00 PM.

The hard days will be the ones during deadline weeks (like, um. . .now).  By the time I finish making dinner, it’s usually 8:30 PM.  We’ll see if I can convince Hubs it’s a good idea to skip a meal on those days.  If I have a glass of juice, though, he may not balk.  We do a day-long fast every week, so he knows from personal experience that missing a few meals won’t kill your ability to function the next day.

Anyway, we shall see!  Aaaand, because posts are always better with pictures:

Oh yes, we did win this game.  Whoop!

Peace out, friends.




The Notebook

So.  Yeah.

February 23 was my re-initial weigh-in: 213.5 lbs.  Today is July 18, and my weight is 210.3 lbs.  The only redeeming thing about that is that the dates are at least within the same year.

But really, it’s just sad.  And typical of me and this “journey” I’ve been on since beginning this blog.

Here’s what I’m doing about it:

What, a simple paper planner?  Yup.  I’m finally writing down everything I eat/drink/do re: exercise.  I’m actually holding myself accountable.  I’ve tried several different digital ways to do this, but none have stuck.  Perhaps if I had internet access on my phone. . .but that’s something I’m quite content without.  Actually, I prefer it.  No way for me to have e-mails pull my attention away every 10 minutes, all day and night!

I’ll still update (and will have to adjust the format of) the Measurements page, of course.  However, I’ll probably simplify it significantly.  No more of the p90x worksheets – I know now that I’ll never update those digitally.  I am considering adding more photos, though.

On the other, more emotional side of things, I’m using another (also green :-P) journal to practice thanksgiving.  Silly as it may sound to have to practice it, I no longer have a naturally grateful outlook on life.  I’ve spent so much time focusing on what I don’t have, and missing all of the amazing things God gives us as gifts daily.  I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and her practice of writing down blessings, of diving deep into “eucharisto,” is what I’m trying to emulate.

If you have a tendency to battle bitter thoughts throughout your days, try it.  Read her book.  It’s quite poetic.  I’ve missed two days of thanks-recording so far, and I could really and truly tell a difference.  My thoughts so quickly returned to the corrosive mental paths I’ve created over the past several years.

Anyway, just wanted to put that out there.


I’ve really been thinking lately about “methods” to help create success.  I realize it truly comes down to effort and commitment, but working toward something with a plan of attack is likely a more effective route than working really hard without said plan.

What are some things that y’all have done – simple things, easily absorbed into a daily/weekly routine – that have proven successful?  I know nothing is a one-size-fits-all approach, but I’d love to hear ideas.


So, remember when I discovered the simplest way ever to get myself to drink more water?

Well, I’ve made another hydration-changing discovery, courtesy of my Chinese coworkers & friends.  Apparently, it’s common practice in China to drink hot water in the winter months.

Hot water!

Genius!  Why in the world does my native culture not do this?  It’s so beautifully logical!

It took me a day or two to get used to the taste, but now I’m completely hooked!